Olivia was 3 years old and Lotte just 7 months old (still being breastfed) that fateful Wednesday twelve years ago when I was told I had cancer. My 'Cancer Journey' is very much linked to my children and being a mum 

Joking with the Breast Surgeon that I hadn't come to my appointment to get the results of the previous week's biopsy on my own... I had the baby with me! I had found the pea-sized hard lump under the skin whilst breast feeding and knew this wasn't 'my normal'... but still I wasn't really worried. I had no family history, I was not overweight, I'd never smoked, drank little, vegetarian and breast fed both my babies... couldn't be anything right? Wrong.

Investigations, lumpectomy and lymph node removal and various scans proved the cancer was aggressive... I had Grade 3 advanced Breast Cancer. Without intensive and immediate action my life was in danger and I wouldn't get to be a part of my children's lives; I wouldn't get to be their mummy. The worst thought for me personally was that they were too young to remember me. 

I had to do everything I could to ensure every year possible... to get to an age where they would remember me... feel my love for them and know how precious they were to me. I repeat, my cancer journey' is very much linked to my children.  

Twelve years ago this weekend just gone Lotte had her 1st birthday and whilst I was too ill to arrange a party for her we started our new tradition of 'Birthday Breakfast' and I vowed to make every other birthday very memorable for them.

I had my second chemotherapy infusion on that day at home. My hair had already started to fall and I'd shaved it in preparation. Quite a traumatic experience and I with hindsight urge any woman needing to shave her head to entrust this to someone they trust and is very sympathetic, whomever that may be (which may not be the obvious choice).

Losing my hair with Chemo whilst it was difficult to deal with at the time with my young family. I looked very ill. I lost the hair on my head and all over, including my eyebrows and eyelashes and combined with the bloating from the steroids, I looked very different.

My hair loss however set me on a path to start my business Bold Beanies and make a range of cancer alopecia headwear and gifts to make a terrible situation a little bit more bearable. I designed them with younger cancer patients in mind with an emphasis on style as well and for comfort and ease. 

I was unable to lift my arms for long after my mastectomy and lymph node removal and therefore tying traditional headscarves was too difficult for me. I needed something soft and simple to slip on and get on looking after my children. I also felt incredibly cold at night. The wooly beanie hat I wore was itchy and often got too hot, so I would take it off and then I would get cold quickly. My chemo headwear needed to be made from thin natural cotton material, soft, stretchy, breathable and temperature controlling. Its so much easier to face the side effects of cancer when you're able to get a good nights sleep. 

Having received a lot of flowers by post from well meaning friends and family, I also felt it very important to provide gift solutions for cancer patients, helping those around them feel less helpless. 

With every year that passes I gain strength in the bond I have with my girls. I teach them, I guide them to grow into confident young women who very much know they are loved whether I am with them or not.

Whilst I continue to battle with making my life count, battling the feelings of borrowed time, a bucket list of dreams and the normalities of being a single parent with a growing business and people in my life who are determined to make it harder than it needs to be... I hope that others who are at the start of their story with cancer that they get some comfort from my 12 years... sharing the positive stories is so important. I'm still here and enjoy every day with my children and look forward to the exciting times in their lives that I get to be a part of. 

Thank you Wildfire Magazine for another informative & sensitive article... I have a few friends who would agree

"Being metastatic is just awful luck, not something a person did or didn't do" - and 9 other things the MBC community wants you to know.

Excerpt from Article: 

If you're like me, you like concrete how-tos, clear directions, tried and true recipes, do this not that, that sort of thing. There is nothing so frustrating as wanting a map of a new place and not having one. That's how I have felt the last several years when it comes to breast cancer awareness and Metastatic Breast Cancer. I want to know specifically how to be a good friend to those with MBC.

Lacking the map, I've decided to simply ask. So, recently I've spent a lot of time talking to women with MBC, asking how I -- an early stager -- can support & advocate for women in the breast cancer community whom have been diagnosed Stage IV. The women I talked to were very happy to help me and now I have for you (and me) this list.

1. Being metastatic is just awful luck, not something a person did or didn't do. Many with metastatic breast cancer are diagnosed de novo metastatic, which means some men and women are diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer from their first diagnosis of breast cancer.

2. People with Stage IV are mentally in a different space than early stagers. "If I seem insensitive to an early stager's experience, it's because I'm over here preparing my young children for my death. While an early stager puts treatment behind them, I'm pleading for my treatment to just last another 6 months. And while an early stager is posting all about how hard of a year they've had, but then it's over and everyone is dressing in pink and dropping off casseroles and walking in their honor on Mother's Day, I'm over here drowning. All of my old friends have forgotten me, all of my metastatic friends who "get it" have died. And no one has brought me a casserole or asked how I'm doing in months."

3. Don't buy people with MBC pink stuff. Most don't identify with the "pink" crowd. Instead, spread awareness for Stage IV and the fact that 116 with MBC die each day.

Jo lost 90% of her hair in two weeks after her third pregnancy... "Losing 90% of my hair in 2 weeks redefined my thoughts on beauty" she says. 

... this is so me, I have to permanently wear a bra just to keep warm and now I know why.  Having won an innovation award myself, i'm so pleased to share this simple innovative idea, the thermal bra! It’s an unfortunate truth—women who have had a mastectomy and then undergone reconstruction often deal with cold breasts. After reconstruction, a woman will have only a thin layer of skin and muscle between the implant and the outside environment, making it difficult for her body to maintain 98.6°F unless she’s in the tropics. Without a layer of fatty breast tissue, implants...

Sarah Thomas, 37, a cancer survivor has become the first person to swim across the English Channel four times in a row non-stop.

Sarah began the epic challenge in the early hours of Sunday and finished after more than 54 hours. The open water ultra marathon swimmer - who completed treatment for breast cancer a year ago - dedicated her swim to "all the survivors out there".

The swim was due to be about 80 miles but because of strong tides Ms Thomas ended up swimming closer to 130 miles.

Ms Thomas completed the final leg on Tuesday at about 06:30 BST.

THANK YOU SARAH!! What an amazing achievement! 

Speaking to the BBC after she came ashore at Dover, she said: "I just can't believe we did it.
"I'm really just pretty numb. There was a lot of people on the beach to meet me and wish me well and it was really nice of them, but I feel just mostly stunned."

She said she planned to sleep for the day, adding: "I'm pretty tired right now."

Swimmer Lewis Pugh said in a tweet: "Just when we think we've reached the limit of human endurance, someone shatters the records." 

I know of another swimmer Helen, who has inspired a collection of Bold Beanies chemo headwear who is also an incredible swimmer and inspires me every single day!!